Too Hot to Handle – Heatwave Hacks

As someone who is a certified hot weather hater, I feel it is my duty to write about the incoming heatwave to the UK. Now to clarify, I am not here to complain about the temperatures getting hotter as I love shirt sleeve order and a little bit of sun as much as the next person, but if we could just keep the scorching sun behind a thin cloud or two that would be perfect thank you!

So, as we all count down to the summer holidays and many outdoor activities such as sports day, divisions, house parties and speech day approach, the weather returns once again to make yet another attempt at cooking us alive at times when you cannot possibly escape it. Forecasters are already predicting temperatures of over 30°C in parts of eastern England with Sunday set to be a chilly 29°C and Monday and Tuesday next week to be much similar (apart from the apparent thunderstorms???).

But what can you do to avoid it? Shirt sleeve order is obviously in place but sometimes that is not quite enough. So, here are some of my hacks to make your life just that little bit easier.

Time to become best friends with your water bottle. The queue for the water fountains around school may start to resemble a music festival crowd, but trust me, it is so worth it. Bonus points if your water bottle is somehow keeping your water cold from first until eighth period (although you should be finishing it and refilling it throughout the day).

The great shade hunt must begin. Don’t be the person out playing sports with no suncream on or actively avoiding the shade on sports day resulting in possibly some of the most criminal sunburns I’ve ever seen. Find the trees, the walls, the gazebos, the cars, someone taller than you, literally anything that will become your saviour from that sun.

Dreaded divisions heat. As someone who has been in guard for the last three years and is not well adapted to surviving that heat in full divisions uniform, take my word for these next ones.

Wiggle your toes – I am so sure many of you have heard this endlessly but I’m not just talking “oo it is a bit warm let me just quickly wiggle my toes” and you give up after 20 seconds, I’m saying be consistent. I tend to find tapping your toes in your shoes (do NOT lift your feet from the ground) to the beat of the drum as if you were marching is a good distractor.

Do not close your eyes – seems like a weird one but this always seems to make people more off balance and disorientated when they try to close their eyes to shade them from the sun, just avoid it.

Drink LOTS of water before and after the parade – this is so key at all times as well as a hearty breakfast in the morning to get some energy.

Slather some sun cream on – please for the love of everything ever put some sun cream on, burnt necks and white front burn lines are not in style for 2026.

This one is key, so if you listen to any, let it be this one DO NOT LOCK YOUR KNEES – just don’t do it please.

Finally, and most importantly make sure to help those around you, don’t leave them until they’re on the floor, if you see them struggling help them off the parade square and to a medical tent – I have heard that the concrete parade square isn’t too comfy.

Now this one may be a bit of an unconventional piece of advice (and I feel like some people won’t be happy with me sharing this hack) but freeze spray is your best friend (besides your water bottle). Do not go and sell out the freeze spray in stores, but if you do happen to own a bottle of it anywhere, a spray of that on the back of your neck after a PE or Games session will seriously change the game for you.

My last piece of advice is to enjoy the heat. The permanent rain and cold temperatures we have had this winter have not been fun, so enjoy the fact the weather is changing because we will eventually return to the dreary weather once more. Maybe try out some of my hacks – but don’t blame me if they don’t work, I am only accepting thanks from people.

So, whether you will be carrying an industrial-sized water bottle, hiding in the shade or desperately opening every window in your classroom, make the most out of the sunshine, enjoy the long evenings and remember that every sweaty lesson is one lesson close to the summer holidays. Good luck surviving the heatwave!