The Big Debate: Pineapple on pizza – Imi Peterson (and Sonia)

Despite the LIES many of you may have heard, Hawaiian pizza is not Hawaiian. Invented by the Canadian man Sam Panopoulos in 1960, he claimed he wanted to reinvent the contrast of many Chinese foods by combining a traditionally sweet food, with savory. In todays debate, Sonia Okechukwu will be fighting the corner of the *basic* opinion, whilst I shall argue for the right to put whatever you choose on your pizza base.

IP: So… what do you think of pineapple on piz-

SO: I HATE it

IP: why?

SO: You cannot put…fruit…with…*laugh*

IP: Ham? *laugh* bread, cheese?

SO: ALL of the above *wheeze* it’s a terrible idea, and whoever does it…should go to hell-

IP: See I quite like it like the contrast of the sweet-

SO: I hate the contrast of the sweet, and the sogginess of the pineapple- doesn’t work with the the,

IP: See where you pick off the pineapple, I pick off the ham,

SO: Yeh but only vegetarians do that and vegetarians need help*wheeze*

*cackles and various banshee noises*

IP: Well, I’ll take that comment and I’ll erm *wheeze*…consider it,

*whale sounds*

IP: Okay erm…

SO: *wheeze* yeah but erm, back to the aherm, the ham, is a vital part of… ham pineapple pizza-

IP: Yeah

SO: Because I mean it’s one of the two ingredients,

IP: Well that’s not-

SO: *sassily* YEAH

IP: No cause, cheese, tomato… pizza

SO: Yeah but those are the basic ingredients we all know that-

IP: That’s not the bas- anyway…

*a sound kind of like the hyenas in ‘The Lion King’*

SO: Anyway the ham is… with an inch o’ salt…

IP: An inch of salt?

SO: A PINCH OF SALT

*goose sounds*

SO: A pinch of salt… it’s just… it’s nice and salty and just…it, brings the car-a-mal-isatiooon of the

*wheeze*

IP: Exactly! It’s the contrast of the pineapple

SO: Nooo, its the pineapple that ruins it, the pineapple… is just…sweet and strong and it just hits you for no reason

*wheezes*

IP: Okay…

SO: That’s the end

IP: Thank you for your… your views

SO: What do you think we should erm… conclude on… pineapple on pizza… MARGARITA

*various cackles*

Imogen Peterson

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