ELECTION NEWSFLASH! Labour leader under pressure: allegations of voter harassment

After an energetic campaign launch in RHS’ Monday assembly this morning, the Labour candidate, Charlie France, was overheard claiming that the election was ‘in the bag’.

However, shocking allegations have been made by a Y7 in the 8th pew back. The first-time voter, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed he was struck by ‘high velocity confectionary-bribe’. He went on to say:

‘Not only was the chocolate superfluous to the core issues of this election, the manner of distribution was over-exuberant at best. I can’t place faith in such a leader: I’m sorry.’

After a strong showing in the early polls, this is a most unwelcome development for RHS’ answer to Jeremy Corbyn.

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