She’s having kittens, Part 2 – Mrs Kemsley
(Kitten bedroom. On my knees. Knees covered in warm kitten milk.)
Me: Read it again. What does it say about the face?
Husband: Rub it. (Reading from Google) Apply a small amount of milk to your finger and rub it onto the kitten’s mouth. Allow the kitten to lap the milk off its face.
Me: I’m not really sure how to keep the milk on my finger. Here. Can you hold it? Maybe I can kind of pour it on.
Husband: (Holding squirming kitten) I’m not sure you’re doing this right.
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Correct me if I’m wrong, readers, but, in the wild, it does not take two humans to feed a kitten. I’m not really sure why the kittens can’t just figure out how to feed themselves. Surely it is not necessary for me to repeat the face-rubbing process six times a day? What kind of animal can’t figure out how to eat?
As you might have guessed, it’s weaning week. I have been dreading this since birth-day. What if I can’t make the kittens eat? What if I wonder into kitten room one day and find them all keeled over from starvation with their little ribs sticking out? I am sure it is natural to feel this anxiety. Since week three, the weight of responsibility has settled itself firmly onto my shoulders and now that the kittens are starting to make their way in the world it is up to me to make the right decisions.
Last night I spent two hours googling instructions on the proper weaning of kittens. It’s not that there’s much contradictory information, more that I find myself a little confused by quantities and timings. 4-6 times a day (does that mean through the night?). Mix in solids after one week (after starting to wean or after they first begin to eat?).
To cap it all, my vet has given me a little packet of powder (at the customary OUTRAGEOUS price) that needs mixing into the kitten food. (It’s for worms btw. Gross). This packet has to be split between the five and they must eat it all. Whaaa…? How…? Desperate to maintain my veneer of wisdom and capability (my vet is a bit of a silver fox) I failed to ask him for specific instructions. I regret that now.
I have to say I felt completely at a loss. BUT, in the midst of this, there was a tiny glimmer of hope. This morning I popped in to check on the kittens before work and I caught one of them at the water bowl! It ran away as soon as I entered (I am a bit of a heffalump first thing in the morning) but I am pretty sure I heard a little lapping sound. Surely, if they can work out the water situation they can take in a bit of milk and if they can take in milk then starvation is starting to look a little less likely…
If you have the stomach for it, next week should be toilet training. Unless the kittens starve. In which case, this will be the final instalment.
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