What Do You Call a Raleigh Housemaster…? – Toby C

What do you call a Raleigh Housemaster with no fists?

Mr Can’t Fightwell

What do you call a Raleigh Housemaster with no teeth?

Mr Can’t Bitewell

What do you call a Raleigh Housemaster who is really indecisive?

Mr “oh MightasWell”

What do you call a Raleigh Housemaster who doesn’t eat his Carrots?

Mr Can’t see in the Nightwell

What do you call a Raleigh Housemaster playing with Childrens toys in really windy weather?

Mr. Can’t fly a Kitewell

What do you call a Raleigh Housemaster in fire retardant clothing?

Mr Can’t Lightwell

What do you call a Raleigh Housemaster who is average at sports?

Mr. Plays Quitewell

What do you call a Raleigh Housemaster who can’t screw in a lightbulb?

Mr. Can’t Brightwell

My career in stand up comedy is really coming along. I’m hopeful of selling out the London palladium soon…! Join me again in future weeks, for more staff name-based fun – and thank you to Mr Brightwell for being a good sport in allowing me to write this piece.

toby chavasse

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