As the sun begins to peak through the clouds – or would do if the clouds would stop crying with endless tears of sleet, spring is soon approaching us. And, with another season comes another battle between the staff attire. A word of wisdom to you all – if you want teachers to do anything for you around the exam period – ASK WEEKS IN ADVANCE! This being said: to the 2 teachers who will be going head to head, I thank you greatly for finding the time to shine.
So, which teacher has brought light to the wretched weather and which blends in with its gloom? All will be revealed and the English and Geography departments go head to head.
Without further ado, let me introduce you to our first candidate. The kind, the blunt, the geo Queen…
‘Spring into Summer is possibly my most favourite work attire – no longer my favourite jumper needs to be on a continual wash, thicker and thicker tights adorned and multiple layers considered just to make it through the cold days of winter. In Spring, colours, florals and bright patterns bloom and you begin to feel a little like you are uncoiling out of wardrobe hibernation.‘
- My classic ‘go to’ spring look – a Capri or Cigarette trouser – the bolder the better. Or classic with a tailored shirt and moccasin. Light layering to keep away the early Spring chill with a topcoat. I love an accessory and a statement earring / necklace is usually my only nod towards any form of style over comfort!
- However, when asked to put this together, frustratingly Spring still feels very much like Winter. With out ever changing weather patterns (see any geo lesson for more info) my current ‘go to Spring 2023’ lies heavily with a heeled ankle book (Kurt Geiger are my only choice), with a skirt – usually bold print or colour teamed with a most boring selection of black tops / roll necks. Again a sprinkling of jazzy earrings and 1 of 5 necklaces owned helps to recycle an otherwise ‘overused’ look! Throw in my Zara oversized scarf and warmth favours fashion.
My style hasn’t changed much in my years of teaching and I’m therefore not sure if this allows me to reach the great heights of ‘most fashionable teacher’, unless the ‘vintage’ look is back in! But I do try and I hope this gains me some credit! As per, Mr Gurur I have what some may consider a ‘capsule’ wardrobe of a few staple items which both tick ‘business attire’ with comfort. Most concerningly, if my photo-bombing 3yr old is anything to go by I need to seriously up my style game!
From the colourful skirts to the top coats, to the legendary scarf, Miss certainly rocks the spring look. But is this enough to beat our own Oxford graduate, Chief Executive of the Bubble and the best connoisseur of life’s more intricate details?
‘For fear of seeming delusional about my future as an ‘influencer’, allow me simply to elaborate on an annual staple made season-appropriate by layering. No man can live without sartorial rules. Other than a badly dressed man, obviously. As such, and in order to plug the school’s annual writing competition, here are a few ‘rules to live by’ when it comes to wearing a suit.‘ Not only is this Mr H’s fashion application, but also seems to be his ‘rules to live by’ article. Sneaky!
- Jacket fit. If it isn’t right on the shoulders and ribcage, no tailor can ever retrieve the blunder. Length: one’s hands should, arms full length, be halved by the line of the bottom of the suit jacket. Sleeve length: offer some shirt, but only a little: you’re not a cartoon. Button: standing, do up the top one (of two), release when sitting.
- Trouser length. Should just hit the shoe, creating a vague fold. More than that and you run the risk of looking like Edward Hyde after an unexpected transformation from the body of Dr Jekyll.
- Tie. Plain shirt, patterned tie. It works for a reason: don’t play god. Length-wise, too short and you’re an extra from Grange Hill, too long and it’s too Boris. Somewhere around the belt-line is ideal.
- Knot. This is full Windsor. A true English gentleman would favour the half-Windsor, but this is a very long tie. You have to be pragmatic: if you know the rules, you know how to break the rules.
- Shoes. Should not be a lighter tone that your suit. If you’re Italian, you might get away with breaking this rule, but I wouldn’t recommend it on this dank peninsula.
- Emergent mullet: optional.
Now, although I much admire the detailed prescription and vast vocabulary, the lack of change, the lack of want to grow and experiment -makes me visualise Brezhnev’s stagnant stability of the cadres more that a spectacular suit. Sorry Mr H but, due to the consideration, contemplation and colourful complexion of Mrs I’s attire, the winner seems clear.
After a very challenging battle and some deep deliberation, this season’s victor is… MRS I.M!
Again, very sorry Mr H…