Norovirus (vomiting bug) – RHS Health Warning

Norovirus (vomiting bug) – RHS Health Warning

Norovirus, also called the “winter vomiting bug”, is a stomach bug that causes vomiting and diarrhoea. It can be very unpleasant, but usually goes away in about 2 days. RHS, especially Nelson house has seen over 40 confirmed cases since Week 2 of this term. Consequently this article is being published to advise members of our community on how to survive this half term.

[Disclaimer: Although much of this information is accurate, much of it is also satire and thus the Bubble team take NO responsibility if any pupil, member of faculty or other person(s) contract the norovirus despite following the advise in this article.]

CHECK if you have norovirus

The main symptoms of norovirus are:

  • feeling sick (nausea)
  • diarrhoea
  • being sick (vomiting)

You may also have:

  • a high temperature of 38C or above
  • a headache
  • aching arms and legs

The symptoms start suddenly within 1 to 2 days of being infected.

The Norovirus can spread very easily.

You can catch norovirus from:

  • close contact with someone with norovirus
  • touching surfaces or objects that have the virus on them, then touching your mouth
  • eating food that’s been prepared or handled by someone with norovirus

Preventing contracting the Norovirus – Survivor’s advice:

  1. The Peter Dwerryhouse – Buy Dettol Surface Cleaner Wipes (kills 99.9% of bacteria, including E. coli, salmonella, MRSA and the flu virus). And wipe EVERYTHING you intend to touch – Door handles, pens, cutlery, cups, shoes, clothes, toothbrushes…


Pros: Basically impossible to get ill

Cons: Still could get sick

Anti bac. wipes taste nasty

They are expensive (£6 a packet) and Peter drained his house account to fund his Dettol reliance.


  1. The Tom Paddon – Use Jumper sleeves/Shoulders/Feet to open doors and sit opposite no-one in the DH


Pros: All fairly low-key but reasonably effective tactics

Cons: Mess becomes very lonely and travels around school and house take longer from the faff of using jumper sleeve to open doors.


  1. The Catie Bennet – Pretend you aren’t really ill and come back in the next day.


Pros: You don’t miss out on crucial A Level learning

Cons: Everyone else gets sick

You still miss out on learning because you haven’t recovered so end up going home four times.


  1. The Freddie Wotton/James Pembroke (aka. The DT Scholars Cure) – ‘Acquire’ dust masks you can wear in order to protect yourself from inhaling germs.


Pros: Quite difficult to contract virus

Complete monopoly – Masks can be sold to concerned pupils and teachers at

extortionate prices.

Cons: Impossible to eat, drink or clean teeth with a face mask on

Look like a bit of an idiot


  1. The Annie Paddon – Bring your own cutlery and eating utensils to the DH


Pros: Won’t get sick from dirty cutlery, touched by sick Juniors and Nelsoners alike

Cons: Have to wash it up (and carry dirty cutlery back from the DH)


  1. The Me/Adam Warren – Buy 2L of Anti-bacterial air spray to disinfect corridor


Pros: There aren’t any

Cons: Smells awful

Could easily set fire alarms off (meaning all the sick people have to get out of bed and mingle with you in the car park).

Anti bac sprays aren’t designed to kill viruses in the air (Which the NoroVIRUS is).


This is a time of great angst and worry – Remember, You won’t even know you’ve been infected until you go off like Krakatoa…..






Adam Warren

I am a Contributor for the RHS Bubble

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