England Euros: A Review of the Three “Kittens” – Phoebe G
It is safe to say, if you have been following England’s performance at the Euro’s, that it has been sub-par at best. Despite the great individual talents in the squad and the progression into the knock out stages, -fans have described Southgate as an “amateur prospector”; he is “sitting on a gold mine but doesn’t have the tools to get the best out of it” (rather poetic from a fellow Liverpool supporter: nickdunn5723)- there is little evidence of team cohesion, causing many a football fan and commentator to express their distaste online. As the title of this article shows, the England team has been ravaged on social media, being called “kittens” by the German media… Equally, on the pitch, there is also a level of frustration. Furious fans after England’s goalless draw against Slovenia resorted to throwing empty beer cups at Gareth Southgate and booing the team off the pitch. I’d like to say that I am rather tolerant of poor football performances; after all I have been a Liverpool fan for a large portion of my life and had to witness the 2015/16 season, but I digress. My point being, if I can’t bring myself to watch England play football, they must be pretty poor…
Here’s a review:
1st Game- Vs Serbia:
I watched this one! I expected our first match of the campaign to be rather enjoyable, if I’m honest. Whilst we did come away with the win, I wouldn’t say it was richly deserved. Sure, good old Jude scored a rather impressive header in the early stages of the first half, but, as is common with England, there was no drive to continue any sort of scoring form. The pressing from Harry Kane was non-existent, and there was a lack of forward-thinking from any of our defenders, causing the ball to be passed back to Jordan Pickford an unforgivable number of times. All in all, we did get a promising win, but pretty unconvincing.
2nd Game- Vs Denmark:
Yay- Kane scored! A tap in, granted, but it silenced the Harry harassers for a bit. Then, later on in the first half, Hjulmand scored his first international goal for Denmark, which was “a beauty”, according to one of the commentators. In all honesty, there wasn’t much England could do, apart from putting more defensive pressure within our half. This doesn’t seem like too much of an ask, seeing as a light jog is the fastest most of our players are willing to go. Apart from the early chance from Phil Foden, just wide of the crossbar, England offered very little in the way of goal-scoring chances in this match, making it a cause for concern in the knock out stages when we face more tough opposition.
3rd Game- Vs Slovenia:
In the first 20 minutes of the first half, England had some rather nice play, with Rice linking Foden up with a beautiful through ball. It was then crossed into Saka who finished the ball confidently. Alas, it was not to be; the offside flag raised its dreaded reds and yellows. “Lively” performances from Foden and Gordon were unfortunately not enough for England in the end.
Whilst the football quality has left something to be desired, what has been rather amusing is reading the comments underneath the YouTube highlights of each match. A common comment is the surprise of fans when a five minute video of mind-numbing football has been advertised as “highlights”:
“Impressive you’ve managed to get 5minutes of highlights out of another absolute Southgate masterclass.”
“I knew Southgate would get found out. Calling him a mediocre manager is an insult to mediocre managers.”
“Gordon coming in for 3 mins and plays the first line breaking pass almost resulting in a goal. Southgate won’t be happy with that , did he not get the memo only pass sideways”
I’m sorry to disappoint, but for those who have been saying “IT’S GOING HOME, IT’S GOING HOME”, may have a point if England don’t up their game…
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