Shower Thoughts – Toby C

As I continue to upload my entire stream of consciousness onto the bubble, I thought that it would be fun if this week’s dose of nonsense is centred around thoughts you have in the shower. No, not those types of thoughts, I am talking about the more contemplative, questioning thoughts we all have as we analyse our lives in meticulous detail under the pouring stream of hot water. That is of course after you have imagined the best retort to that argument you had 5 years ago, sung a few verses of Jerusalem and attempted a Welsh accent. So, without further ado, some shower thoughts that I am sure we all have:

“When you are waiting for a waiter, don’t you become the waiter?”

“There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky…”

“Whenever someone is sick, there is always diced carrots in it, even if they have never eaten a carrot in their life… what’s that about?”

“The word “palindrome” isn’t a palindrome and that makes me very sad.”

“Your Dad’s grandpa and your grandpa’s dad are the same person.”

“You can hear the difference between hot and cold water being poured”

“The green part of a watermelon tastes like cucumbers.”

“The test of truly being comfortable around someone is being able to sit in silence and it not be awkward.”

“You really have to respect the versatility of mint. Its good in cocktails, good in salads, all toothpaste is mint flavoured, and there is a whole category of sweets dedicated to it!”

“No one was ever able to fit all the lateral flow covid stuff back into the tiny blue box.”

“Its impossible to say the phrase “well done you” or “good luck with that” without sounding sarcastic.”

“Lying in the sun makes you more tired than going for a run.”

“Mmmmmm hot water!”

“I should probably get out the shower now, or I won’t be on time for roll call.”

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