Auntie Dom
“Dear Auntie Dom,
I have this girlfriend at school, but the relationship has gone the way of warm milk: soured. I know that whenever I’m with her my soul is being sucked into the hole where hers should be. We never really talk anymore anyway, and this has just made it harder for me to break up with her, and what’s worse is that I think she wants to break up with me too. How do I break up with her first so my friends don’t think I’m such a loser for being dumped? Help me Auntie Dom, you’re my only hope.
Regards,
Moon”
Dear Moon,
I am so sorry to hear of your terrible predicament; I am writing this reply in all haste in order to save what little of your soul might remain. So, what you need to do first is to arrange a meeting with her – I know you don’t talk a lot anymore, so this could prove to be easier said than done, but perhaps you share a class with her (like Chemistry, for example). If you do share a class, this is the perfect time to tell her, and I would suggest a Saturday morning lesson to talk so you have a chance to escape from her over the weekend and allow the dust to settle. Your main fear regarding the breakup seems to be that if she breaks up with you first you’ll be embarrassed, but I must advise you that if she also wants to break up, you must let her break up with you. When a woman breaks up with a man, life returns to normal, but when a man breaks up with a woman, her friends will transform into a flock of harpies; this, I assure you, is not worth it, so just take the embarrassment. Equally, if your friends judge you for being broken up with, are they truly your friends at all? Have any of them ever been in a relationship? I expect not. Anyway, now you know what must be done, and I hope that all goes well.
Best wishes,
Auntie Dom
Post Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.