Relationships at RHS… ‘It’s complicated’ – Molly Freeman
As we all gossip about it daily, it’s pretty obvious there are plenty of relationships at RHS; it’s hard to ignore. From the year 7’s who’s-going-out-with-who drama, to the ‘this person got with this person and something may or may not be happening’ in the senior years. Relationships are an important part of adolescence: it’s discovering things about yourself; it’s finding how to deal with certain personalities; it’s more than just gossip for one week. However, not only are relationships in themselves something to work at, but they can be particularly tasking at RHS, so here are the top 5 things I have found about RHS that makes relationships here challenging:
- Getting to know someone
The start of any new pairing is an awkward thing; RHS, however, likes to make it worse. Say you tell a few friends about who you’re talking to in Monday’s History lesson, by CCF Friday the whole year will know and probably a few others in the school. It’s not an easy exercise, keeping it on the ‘down low’. The best way to deal with this is to ignore what people say and if you are starting a relationship, it is between the two of you, so keep it that way.
- Public appearances
So you’ve been talking for a few weeks and you’ve decided you’ll go on a walk. Guaranteed, there will be at least 4 other couples you awkwardly nod to as you pass and all your friends will be waiting for you back house to ask what happened and, of course, if you kissed. If this isn’t embarrassing enough, maybe you’ve been seeing each other for a while and you go on a mess date. As you walk in, people who spot you together speculate about what’s happening. Then through your meal more people will notice and eagerly watch you eat and talk with your prospective partner. I promise, however, the excitement will die down the following week and you’ll be old news.
RHS is so good for providing opportunities and activities all through the week and weekends and even in holidays. After school, you have sport, music, clinics and the like. After prep, you have house responsibilities, more prep or you may even just want to go to bed early because you’ve been busy throughout the day. At the weekends, you have sport, socials and you may also want some time for yourself or friends. Getting a balance is definitely key but finding time is hard. It becomes worse when one half is a day pupil.
Some of you may have picked up that I mentioned socials at the weekend and yes, this is a perfectly good time to see your boyfriend/girlfriend, if you’re in the same year. Despite this, there will come a point you will want to have time alone. It’s not comfortable outside (as well as there being other couples), especially in winter, there are over 40 people in the house and considerably more in the Dining Hall. This is further complicated if you can’t visit each other’s homes. Unfortunately, you’ll have to accept you won’t get privacy in a relationship at RHS.
So you’ve gotten to know someone, you’ve gone public and you manage to find time together during the week and alone, so what about holidays? Unless you live 20 minutes from each other, it’s likely you won’t see much of them. As well as school trips, you’ll also have work and obviously time for family and a break over the holidays; once this is done you may be able to arrange a time. However, if you’re in a year with exams it is likely you’ll be spending time doing revision, or at least should be. Perhaps just wait till summer…
This shouldn’t put you off looking for special friends, but remember to stick to the Pupil Handbook in regards to relationship rules! Also remember, it may be hard in a relationship at RHS, but it can be far worse to ignore your emotions.