EXCLUSIVE: du Toit fake bloodline furore! – The Editor

The Scottish National Party’s push for its first seat beyond the tartan border has been undermined by charges of dishonesty against its purportedly Scottish candidate.

As the bagpipe flourish faded on the speakers, Basson du Toit’s manifesto-launching campaign speech in yesterday’s Headmaster’s assembly sparked widespread scratching of heads. Unlikely rumours have subsequently emerged that du Toit had been coached on the Scottish accent over the weekend; attempts to emulate it before an audience of 800 voters ended in farce, however. Of South African birth, du Toit sounded more like Nelson Mandela than Nicola Sturgeon; less man from Dundee, more Crocodile Dundee.

Gregor Campbell, RHS’ resident highlander, speaking in the DH this morning, commented: “I didnae’ thank he wuz Scowtash, liek.  Bassy’s nae mehr Scowtash than this here wee egg.” The egg in question was not, as a matter of fact, of the Scotch variety.

The SNP candidate has refused to comment on further allegations of fabricating a clan bloodline to the Mc-du Toits, merely continuing to smile and behave in a generally polite manner.

An IT teacher, who did not wish to be identified, remarked: “When he did the speech at home on Sunday night he sounded much more Scottish.”

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