McDonald’s; I’m Hating It – Noah A

McDonalds’ is often the holy grail of food choices; the obvious choice after a sports fixture, at an airport or if you manage to persuade a parent to stop during a long drive. However, over the years I have noticed some dire choices when stopping at the Golden Arches so hopefully this piece will guide you in the right direction.

Filet-o-Fish

Vile. Get out. Fish? I’m not against fish at all but this soggy piece of cardboard is not fish. I rarely see someone order a filet-o-fish but when I do its normally for the sole reason of trying to show off the fact that they have an ‘acquired taste’ or are ‘culturally enlightened’. Unfortunately this is rarely the case. I always order the perpetrators an extra Big Mac for when they inevitably begin to sulk because it tastes awful.

Chicken Nuggets

Nuggets are a classic McDonalds order; they complement other meals well and are an effective snack in their own right, but that is all they are to me. Let’s face it, they could never be a real main course: they are one dimensional and just don’t live up to the standards of the big guys like the Big Mac, Chicken Legend etc. As a meal, although palatable, Nuggets are quite frankly boring. Live a little; put them in a burger, dip them in a McFlurry, just don’t be dull.

McPlant

No, no, no. As much as I respect vegetarians’ will power to abstain from eating the most delicious substance on the planet, this just doesn’t cut it for me. Buying food from a corporation whose foundation is the slaughter and consumption of animals as a vegetarian/vegan doesn’t make sense. Ethics aside, it’s just rancid – I tried the patty once and it’s not fooling anyone. Dreadful texture coupled with an awful aftertaste; it’s the appetiser from hell. Don’t try and be something you’re not, it’s embarrassing.

Double Bacon Cheeseburger

Soft brioche buns, two juicy patties with bacon, ketchup and Gherkins. The Double Bacon Cheeseburger has it all: a balanced, healthy meal hitting all 3 important food groups and satisfying even the pickiest of taste buds. You just can’t go wrong with this. The only drawback is the fact you can’t get it as a meal, but this is a small price to pay for the heavenly oral experience. Sometimes I buy two; one as a palate cleanser and the second to wash down the first. Delicious.

It just looks perfect

Salad/Fruit Bag

This is so stupid. Who goes to McDonalds for nutritional food. It may be a healthy choice, but no number of pineapple chunks will cancel out the 2 burgers, 6 nuggets and large fries you’ve just devoured. This is like going to Pizza Hut for traditional Italian food; it’s just not going to happen.

Comments
  1. Mr Hodson

Leave a Reply