My Memoirs Of Africa – Toby C

My Memoirs Of Africa – Toby C

From Malaria to hippos, buffalos to floods, my family has had some great adventures. I am a bit too young to write my memoirs, but I thought I may as well capitalize on a few family stories for the bubble; so, we start at the beginning…

After my parents got married, they moved to Malawi where their adventures started. My dad worked for a NGO distributing mosquito nets to tackle malaria out in Malawi, when, Ironically, my Mum got malaria while she was pregnant with my elder brother Harry. She knew she was seriously ill when dad bought her two copies of Hello! Magazine, which in Malawi cost a fortune back in those days, and for a couple just starting their career with a child on the way, they didn’t have many pennies to spare! She was very ill for a few weeks but made a full recovery, however the doctors told her that it would stunt my brother’s growth, but for those of you who don’t know Harry he stands at a staggering 6.6 feet. So thank God his growth was stunted!

Harry was born in November 1999, and my parents thought it would be a great idea to celebrate the millennium by having all their friends and family to come out to Malawi, forgetting how much work a 1-month-old baby is. They all stayed on the shores of Lake Malawi in a tented camp. My parents decided to pick the furthest tent away from the main area, so no one was disturbed by the crying baby. A month in my parents thought they were doing a pretty good job at the basics now; changing nappies, swaddling, checking the cot for scorpions etc. but one night they really let the ball drop.

Being on the shores of Lake Malawi, many wild animals were about, and so walking to your tents at night you were advised to be escorted by an armed guard. One night my parents were ready to go back to their tent after Harry spent all of supper crying. They couldn’t be bothered to wait for a guard, so they set off by themselves pushing Harry along in a pram. The next thing they knew there was a massive crash, and a hippo came charging out in front of them, blocking the path. Scared out of their minds and hardly able to breathe they slowly retreated backwards, as quietly as they could, and hid in a bush. The hippo stood its ground, but after a while they heard it run back towards the lake. After waiting a few more minutes they slowly began to walk forwards again, adrenaline still rushing through them. They were beginning to calm down and continued back onto the path. As they finally reached where the hippo once was, they came across the pram, with their 1-month-old baby still strapped inside it. At that point both my parents were mortified that they had forgot their own child while they retreated. They left him with a 1.5 tonne beast while they saved their own lives! Luckily Harry was unharmed, but my parents were so embarrassed by this they only told him about it a few years ago.

Thank God I am the youngest child, so they picked up a few tricks by the time I came along, so I only got left alone with a leopard. But that’s a story for another day.