RHS 1XI; Unchained – Noah A
After a rough start to the season, it’s fair to say that the Boys hockey team has improved massively, achieving a few hard earned wins and some success at county and regional tournaments. Here is a brief overview of how the season has unravelled so far;
Opening match: A tough opener saw the 1sts face Ipswich *cough* Seconds *cough* in a local derby. Some fresh debuts, cobwebs and Christmas weight to burn off meant it was a challenging game, but a rough foundation of a team started to form as Zeke Leeson was crowned captain and members adjusted to their positions. Team Manager, Mr Battman, quickly dubbed us ‘the unfittest 1st team ever’ which I think is an unfair assessment given we would have won if Ipswich didn’t score 4 goals. SCORE: 4-1
Match 2, Greshams: If being away at Gresham’s isn’t enough, add a 7-0 smashing to the mixing pot; not a bad loss considering how outnumbered we were in relation to fingers. Hard fighting until the end left the team aching and battered for the journey home, especially keeper Max Arnold who was willing to hospitalise any strikers shooting. All misery was put aside after a decent match tea – a fairly rare occurrence.
Match 3, Bishop’s Stortford: Team Managers Battman and Cordukes had come up with a radical solution to the teams woes that saw the implementation of a new formation which led to a more respectable 2-0 loss and a visible improvement in our play.
County Tournament: Entering without a single win so far, the 1sts had nothing to lose. Building off of improvements made before, the team fought gruellingly for a 0-0 draw against culford and managed to score first against Ipswich in the next game, only losing out on a win after a late equaliser. Jamie McCarroll and Will Wand managed to find the net against Woodbridge launching our first win of the season. Confident hockey, assured strategy, strength and endurance bestowed upon us the title of County Champions *cough* In tier 4 of the UK hockey rankings *cough*.
Match 4, Woodbridge: With no rest from the tournament the day before, the team were burnt out and maybe overconfident against a team we had just beaten. Conceding first left us demoralised and tired, with one spectator describing some players as looking ‘on the verge of cardiac arrest’. Mr Battman’s hat was also near-fatally wounded after a repeat battering in the dug out. Despite an… Interesting umpire who seemed more interested in showing off his colourful cards than refereeing our match, the team equalised and then managed to salvage a win in the penultimate play – simultaneously thrilling spectators and giving Mr Battman a heart attack.
Regional Tournament: Winning the county tournament pushed us through to the regionals. Recent wins and the promise of fast food fuelled the 1sts’ confidence and two cracking flicks from Oli Conway off of short corners, as well as a strong team performance meant Samuel Whitebread School were trounced. Unfortunately against Wisbech we couldn’t find the net at all and were plagued by dodgy umpiring. The RHS 1st team proudly made a sizeable donation to BLINDAID when it was made apparently clear that one umpire had lost their ability to see and gave away a ridiculous penalty flick against us, eventually meaning the game was lost despite a hard fight. Our 3rd match would have been close if it weren’t for the opposition being better than us, resulting in a 1-0 loss that saw us eliminated from the Cup. A play-off match saw us confidently overcome our inherent finger deficit and thrash Norwich 4-1 placing us a respectable 3rd in our group. Consoled by a McDonald’s, the team looks fighting fit for the future!
Thanks to Mrs Daley, Mr Battman and Ms Cordukes for powering the Suffolk County Champions.
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