Christmas ‘Dinner’

Christmas ‘Dinner’ – The Rules

Uncategorized Mr Hodson December 14, 2021 0 Comments

Mr Coleman’s take…

Is it lunch or dinner?

I realise I am a contrarian, but no grown man needs to eat three meals a day, especially on Christmas day, when the main meal is such an indulgence. As it happens, in our house it falls somewhere between when the two meals would traditionally take place.

Turkey or Goose – or something else?

Definitely something else. Turkeys are a weak, tasteless bird and a goose simply isn’t big enough for my family. It’s beef wellington for us – Beef fillet from Mann’s butchers in Ipswich (thanks to Mr Cohen and Mr Graham for that gem), covered in delicious ham and a mushroom concoction shamelessly stolen from Gordon Ramsey’s youtube channel. It’s a bit of a faff to put together, but it tastes sensational, even though I do cheat and buy ready-made puff pastry.

Trimmings essential?

Absolutely. Sprouts par boiled, then briefly roasted with bits of bacon added. Red onions roasted with white wine, crème fraiche and mustard. Copious amounts of roast veg and potatoes (all grown on the peninsula). My sister-in-law makes a horseradish-y sauce which is sublime.

Any special culinary tips?

When in doubt, add a bit more butter.

The famous December conundrum: who to slaughter?

Mrs Stevens’ view

At the Stevens’ household we have experimented with a few different options for Christmas dinner over the years, from beef wellington to a 5 bird roast (great fun with Mrs Hitchen stuffing a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird), slow cooked rib of beef, and the ‘traditional’ turkey. Growing up, we even had one year with jacket potatoes with a topping of choice (smoked salmon and cream cheese for me). I have come to the conclusion that the food matters little as long as there are enough sides / accompaniments to make trousers feel tight, and it is the people you eat it with that make it the Christmas meal. Family, crackers, hats, bad jokes, laughter and love make a Christmas meal for me [plus pigs in blankets].

Mr Corby’s love of… SPROUTS?

Sprouts, you either love them or you’re wrong. Any cooked sprout is a good sprout however here are few simple tips to make the best vegetable even better.

Buy them on the stalk

The flavour of a sprout freshly snapped from its stalk shows a sublime creaminess and unexpected subtlety not commonly associated with the majestic sprout. Buy your sprout stalk at the greengrocers and march proudly through town with your stalk held at the ‘sloped arms’ position. Once at home, revel in the sensual joy of snapping the sprouts off the bottom 10cm of the stalk and marvel at the sprouty magnificence of the largest occupants of the stem. Pour 8 cm of cold water into a bucket, insert the sprout stalk and leave it (parting is such sprout sorrow) outside the back door until you’re ready to cook them. Sprouts kept in this way will retain their fresh green glory for up to two weeks.

Steam don’t boil

There’s a level of sogginess that makes great British vegetables the world beaters that they are however this adds little to the joy of sprouts. A steamed sprout will never be a soggy sprout.

To cross or not to cross

This is a massive source of friction in the sprout community, the theory goes that cutting a cross in the bottom of a sprout allows the heat energy to penetrate the centre of the sprout more easily and ensure that your green buds of joy are evenly cooked throughout. This is a one size its all approach and as we all know, one size only fits one. The surface area to volume ratio of a most sprouts is large enough that no extra assistance is required to enable the heat energy to penetrate the centre of the sprout however if you are blessed with sprouts the size of golf balls then they may need some extra help. These magnificent beasts are the sprout equivalent of a walrus and like the walrus their SA:Vol ratio has fallen significantly. Cutting a 1cm cross into the base of these sprouts restores their thermal properties to that of their more petite brethren and ensures even cooking.

Sprouts a la RHS

The magnificent chefs in the DH have found a way to spread the joy of sprouts to over 700 pupils in rapid succession. Their ploy is to shred the sprouts using a food processor then to quickly fry off some bacon lardons and then add the shredded green gloriousness to the bacon fat for a rapid stir fry. Even to a sprout purist like myself this is a magnificent twist and one that I look forward to every year.

Portion size

Anything less than a dozen simply isn’t a portion.

I hope that you all have a very merry Christmas and remember that sprouts are for life, not just for Christmas.

Mr Terry and Collingwood: Beef Boys

No birds – beef!!!

Take one whole joint of beef (big). It does not mater about the quality your beef are going to cook it for 24 hours! Just make sure it is big so none of your greedy relatives are disappointed, 3kg+ for this recipe! We use half-rumps in CWD!

Buy a sous vide circulating cooker, a vacuum sealer and steal a ‘new and clean’ boot box from a boarding house!
Unwrap and wash any red off your joint – keep it a bit wet
Liberally douse the joint in the secret Collingwood rub – it is not much of a secret if you search CWD twitter!
Bag it up and vacuum seal the beef – it is going to take two people!
Cook the beef for 24 hrs at exactly 129f in your water bath which will provide rare but beautifully cooked meat!
Fire up the BBQ – no gas CWS and HK!
Let the beef rest and dry for 15 mins after it is out of the water bath
Sprinkle will a little more not so secret CWD rub
Sear the beef so it is very dark on the outside, you need to develop a good crust, it is a big piece of meat you will not overcook it before you burn it, hot, hot, hot is the way forward!
Let the meat rest for 30 mins, it will de-juice and then start to suck it back up again. This is really important and the only way to get that perfectly cooked pink and tender meat, don’t start carving too early!

Enjoy with anything that you like with your Christmas dinner. Roast spuds a must, always double the amount of fat they suggest – it is only once a year! Do cook some roast parsnips and sprouts for the older members of your family, there will be a load left over but they will appreciated he effort! Don’t forget the pigs in blankets, these are always great snacking food post dinner so go heavy! What is better than pork wrapped in pork!