Holiday hopeful? Essential Covid Avoidance Guide – Will S
As you may have heard, the school has unfortunately recently had some Covid cases. At the Bubble, we of course wish those who have Covid a speedy recovery, however, this guide is not for those people. This guide is for those (myself included) who have their holiday booked or are looking for a last-minute getaway for a taste of the sun before the cold winter sets in. We must ensure our plans are not spoilt by either having to self-isolate or worse still contracting Covid, and therefore I have decided to write this easy 7 step guide for the ultimate anti-catching covid last few days of term.
- Complete isolation from others is strongly advisable – who needs friends when you’re sunning yourself on the beach?
- When total isolation is unachievable, intense shortness to those around you can help keep pesky vectors far away. Someone asks you how you are? Reply with a scowl and take a few steps back, passive-aggressively adjusting your mask.
- Another useful tip is religious hand washing – if your hands aren’t rough and scaly come 4 pm Friday, you haven’t cleaned them enough.
- One for the day pupils here – the bus is a no go. Even with a mask and constant sanitation, the mixing of air particles is inevitable on a bus. The car is the only way to travel.
- A hazmat suit is a wise investment and one that comes only with rewards – only filtered air for me thanks!
- All food you consume must be from a single-use plastic container. Sorry environmentalists, the flight is already a tonne of CO2 so what’s a little extra pollution?
- Hold your breath – the best way to avoid contamination! The world record for the longest-held breath is 24 mins and 3 seconds, Guinness world record book, here we come.
If you follow these steps, your holiday is a certainty. Provided you don’t catch covid on the plane…
WS
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