Eco-mentalists: Who’s laughing now? – Will S

Eco-mentalists: Who’s laughing now? – Will S

As you may have seen, we are running out of petrol and diesel across the country. The issue itself is created by idiots [ed. ‘idiots’ may be harsh; disproportionate media coverage results in disproportionate public reaction] who, having seen that 10% of petrol stations are low on fuel, have decided to fill every liquid receptacle they have with petrol, resulting in a 500% increase in petrol demand. Such unprecedented demand, when the sector is already struggling, leads to over half of petrol stations having very little, or no petrol on the forecourt at all. But there is a winner in this situation. Not the oil companies, the customers or even the papers that fuelled peoples’ worry, but rather the minority of people who decided they would save the planet. They would spend their precious pennies on the new, exciting technology of electric cars that will negate every other carbon positive activity that person partakes, or has ever partaken in. Petrol stations are low on fuel you say? What is this liquid you talk of? All of my fuel comes from eco-friendly, extra-green, ethically sourced electricity that couldn’t hurt a fly (or indeed a polar bear).

Not only is the average environmentalist jubilant to see that petrol and diesel are running low, but they see that natural gas prices are through the roof at the minute! Having installed solar panels, also at extortionate cost years ago, they haven’t needed dirty gas mains for a long time. It is as though the planet itself is rebelling and punishing those that use fossil fuels in their everyday lives! Furthermore, those who have brought the busiest motorway in the UK to a standstill now find that they can finally go back to complaining about something else because cars will be littered empty of fuel across the lanes. It truly has been an exceptionally brilliant week.

It is easy to belittle and disparage those that care about the planet during times like these, especially when there are constant reports about so-called activists (in fairness a tiny proportion of environmentalists) stopping people from getting to work. But what the last seven days have proved is just how much we rely upon fossil fuels every day, and hints at how difficult it will be for us to go entirely without them in years to come. So, next time you hear someone promoting the fact that they have invested in an electric car or have installed solar panels on their house, even if you wouldn’t admit it, have some respect for them trying to save the planet.

And if that’s not enough to quell your irritation at their smugness, laugh as you go past them stranded on the motorway having been told they had 300 miles of range, and run out only 50 miles into their journey. Shame you can’t ride a polar bear to work…

WS

1 comment

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Vannah

Travelling by polar bear to school would make an interesting entrance!