Eurovision Final Catch Up – Jaz S
Saturday was the 65th Eurovision Song Concert Final, a much-anticipated night for many. This year it was hosted in Rotterdam after Duncan Laurence won for the Netherlands in 2019. The show consisted of 26 countries performing their best, or strangest, song with the results being no
surprise to the UK. Here is your Eurovision catch up!
The Presenters
Chantal Janzen: Janzen rose to fame as a musical actress performing in shows such as Wicked and Petticoat. More recently, she is a well-known TV presenter hosting The Voice of Holland. Her gold dress was stunning and her smiley nature made her the perfect example of a Eurovision presenter. However, after deciding to have a wardrobe change before the results to possibly draw attention away from the fact the UK received ‘Nil poi’, Janzen looked as if she wanted to go home. If I was being fair, I bet it was stressful especially when clips are made that look like certain contestants are sniffing contraband…*cough* Italy (now cleared of all charges!)
Jan Smit: Despite Israel hitting the highest note in Eurovision history, I would argue Smit’s perfectly groomed hair was higher that night. Smit is a well known singer in the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Austria and Switzerland, as well as known for hosting many popular reality shows. Him and Janzen were not very good at hiding which countries received 0 points from the jury or the public, as the sheer look of disgust could have been seen in Australia. Having said that, he is known for always keeping his cool.
Nikkie de Jager: Nikkie is a well known beauty guru on YouTube, better known as NikkieTutorials. She has done the makeup of celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Lady Gaga. Her dress was also stunning, with the sparkly jewels being very appropriate but not necessary for her to stand out as she towered above everyone else at 6ft 2.
Edsilia Rombley: Rombley won the Dutch talent programme Soundmixshow in 1996. She is familiar with the Eurovision contest as she performed in 1998 coming 4th- that year the UK actually gained some points, in fact a lot of points coming 2nd overall!
Graham Norton: Although not an official Eurovision presenter, Graham was the UK’s commentator and popped some crackers of jokes, allowing the Eurovision experience to be even better but more on his jokes later.
The Acts
Cyprus: Now I am going to warn you, there was clearly a theme for the female acts tonight; sexy, gold, sparkly, tasseled dresses. Cyprus’ song sounded like many modern pop songs but I liked it, mainly cause the fire was pretty. The catchy El Diablo song was a great opening act and definitely started Eurovision with a bang. Graham Norton agrees with me but perhaps not many as shown when he said, “I love it. The Orthodox church of Cyprus are less keen.”, referring to the sexy dancing that went along with the performance.
Albania: Albania had a slower, more ballad-like song called Karma. It was performed by Anxhela Peristeri, a name I’m glad I write and not say. She was truly channeling her inner Beyonce, outfit and all. The dramatic red smoke was really adding to the drama of the performance as well as a lot of slow cat walking.
Israel: Eden Alene sang Set Me Free which reminded me of Symphony by Zara Larsson. I liked the beat but I was focused on when she was going to hit the highest note ever on Eurovision, which needed its own wardrobe change. Graham Norton praised the note in his hilarious, twisted way saying, “My nose is bleeding so I think she achieved it”.
Belgium: For me, Belgium was not very memorable mainly because it was a bit too normal and sane. I liked the black sparkly dress but it was just alright. Sorry Belgium but remember you still did better than us so thumbs up.
Russia: Russia’s song was performed by Manizha who wore a giant patchwork dress that resembled a Russian doll, before stepping out of it to wear a red jumpsuit. Manizha had a powerful message, trying to stand up for the women, especially the working class women, of Russia, mocking the stereotypes. Therefore, I praise Russia’s performance.
Malta: The contestant for Malta was Destiny, who performed at the age of only 18. She had an amazing set of pipes, loving the tone of her voice. She performed a pop song called Je Me Casse, about women being who they are. The staging was very colourful and eye catching. I liked the performance but again not Eurovision enough for me.
Portugal: Portugal’s contestant was a band called The Black Mamba. The song had Jazz vibes and for viewers at home, begun in black and white. I was not very impressed as it sounded a bit nasal, but I was impressed by how highly the lead singer seemed to think of himself- definitely considers himself ‘too cool for school’.
Serbia: 3 ladies, sparkly outfits and a lot of hair. In the words of Graham Norton, “Less Destiny’s Child. More Destiny’s Inappropriate Aunt”. They really were giving their all, I’m just glad they were having a good time.
UK: Yayyyyyy go the UK! Our performance was James Newman (renowned songwriter who has written songs for Little Mix, Jess Glynne and Backstreet Boys) singing his own song Embers. The song was really good and catchy. I particularly loved the giant trumpets for the set. Although, James Newman should stick to songwriting and not singing as he was a little off key. Having said this, I think he just wanted to sing one of his own songs and good for him, he definitely didn’t deserve 0 points.
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Greece: Stefania for Greece was also only 18 and wow she looked amazing- like a sparkly, purple, alien superhero. Her song was called Last Dance and the staging was incredible, with dancers being in green morph suits in order to green screen the background, making it look like clothing was dancing. The green screen also fit the superhero outfit as it looked like she was flying above buildings. I bet it was funny in real life though as it would have been a lot of green.
Switzerland: Switzerland did really well in Eurovision but I was not a fan. It was a bit boring and his voice was annoying. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t awful, just not great. He thought he’d won after the Jury votes and nearly gave an acceptance speech. I credit him for being able to sing higher than me- most people can though.
Iceland: The best!! The awkward dancing, the green track suits with their faces on and the weird keyboards were the definition of Eurovision. Choreography included wiggling the butt and waving arms around. The song was so catchy and amazing as well, I was singing it for ages after. It is such shame the recording of their 2nd rehearsal was used rather than it being live- curse you Covid! Still amazing, definitely a watch.
Spain: I think Spain was going with try to whoo the ladies, and men, to vote for them. Big hair, starry night as a background, Spanish ballad and a low-cut black silk shirt- need I say more.
Moldova: Another sparkly, tasseled dress. It was a good performance, with the song Sugar having a good beat, I just expected a bit more. The singer had scary eyes, I felt like she was the witch from the gingerbread house. It did have the longest note in Eurovision history though.
Germany: Now this, this is what you expect at Eurovision. Jendrik singing I Don’t Feel Hate. This performance included a sparkly ukulele and a hand costume doing the peace sign. The hand, ironically, looked like it was flipping the audience off when it hugged the singer. Highlight was also when the hand brought its real hand out to play the trumpet. Would not be surprised if this group starts doing self-help seminars. Absolute chaos, I could not stop laughing. However, Graham describe it as “Marmite – if everyone hated Marmite.”
Finland: Not going to lie, did not expect an emo rock group from Finland. They were trying to get me to join the Dark Side. I found it particularly funny that this dark piece followed whatever Germany’s was.
Bulgaria: It was a heartfelt performance performed by VICTORIA about mental illness. Her performance revolved around her singing her heart out on a rock in the middle of a stage. Well done to her for singing such a personal song.
Lithuania: Another great one. This featured dancing you would find at a child’s disco and weird hand movements; the two backup dancers looked like they had won a competition to perform and were absolutely loving it. I loved the bright yellow outfits and I think this could be the next Gangnam Style.
Ukraine: Ukraine’s song was called Shum which was folky-techno, taking the audience on a hypnotic, futuristic trance. It was a bit strange in the sense it felt other-worldly, but I liked it.
France: Barbara Pravi sang Voilà for France. Her voice was amazing and she looked stunning on the stage. It was a very powerful ballad that felt emotional. I liked the French-flag hoodie she changed into after- same, I would want to get that corset off too.
Azerbaijan: Okay, I don’t know if anyone remembers Becky G but the similarities in performance was uncanny. The song had a good dance beat but I wasn’t impressed if I’m being critical as it basically consisted of saying ‘Mata Hari’ a lot.
Norway: I liked Norway. Tix sang Fallen Angel wearing a big fluffy coat and angel wings, surrounded by demons. The singing was good and I liked that he revealed his tick (blinking a lot and hard) to the audience as it is nothing to be ashamed of. He was my bet, so I was sad he didn’t come top 3.
Netherlands: Another powerful song called Birth of a New Age sung by Jeangu Macrooy. This piece had a Black Lives Matter moment that was great to see with the message being ‘You can’t break me’. All the performance needed was a gospel choir at the end for a real climax.
Italy: The winners! A heavy metal rock band called Måneskin, performing Zitti E Buoni. I liked the guitar skills, impressive drumming and definitely the fire/sparklers. I also really enjoyed hearing rock in another language.
Sweden: Another good one. This song was called Voices and was performed by Tusse. It was very catchy and had a great beat. I also loved what he wore- red velvet suit with black bedazzled gloves.
San Marino: Finally, San Marino which for no reason brought out Flo Rida. I think they were hoping to win lots of public votes, which is why it was pretty hilarious that they only got 13 points; honestly should have seen the look on Flo Rida’s face. Or, maybe featuring was just on Flo Rida’s bucket list, I mean why not?!
Highlights of the Results
For 65 years, I am pretty sure Cyprus and Greece have always voted for each other so I was glad to see this friendship has still lasted.
I loved that Iceland wanted to give their jury points to Jaja Ding Dong (watch the Eurovision film) and I think they should have been allowed. The man that said it was also so serious which made it even funnier.
I can’t believe the UK lost to a hand! Unfair and undeserved so well done James Newman anyway. It was possibly to do with Amanda Holden always managing to make an appearance in the most extravagant outfit in the world.
“Someone dressed up,” is a classic Graham Norton line when seeing someone dressed very fancy but this time it was used sarcastically about Georgia’s voting representative, who was dressed very casually in a t-shirt.
Overall, this year was a huge success and I really enjoyed it.
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