Prefect thought for the week – Racheal
I am ugly. ** . I’m ugly because my nose is too big. I’m ugly because my lips are too full. Because my hips aren’t full enough. I’m ugly because my skin colour isn’t even. I’m ugly because my waist is too thin, my hips aren’t round. Because the stretch marks on my body don’t allow me to be. Because I don’t have enough much fat on my body to be ‘normal’ or ‘as expected’ or ‘attractive’. Because the colour on my skin isn’t light enough to be considered beautiful by most. I’m ugly because society doesn’t allow me to be anything else. And because I’m ugly, I have no confidence and I’m jealous of any person who is bigger than me, taller than me, more ‘perfect’ than I am. **
I’m skinny. **Because I’m skinny, I’m anorexic, or bulimic, or both. So much so, that even the thought of food repulses me. Because I’m skinny, I have a mental condition, that forces me to hate myself. Because I’m skinny I must walk carefully, because my toothpick legs will snap, if I walk too quickly. Because I’m skinny, I am weak, and always tired. Because I’m skinny, I’m the perfect candidate for bullying, along with my fat friends on the other side of the spectrum. *Because I’m skinny, I’m infected with a infectious disease – God forbid I was actually just born this way. Because skinny, I’m unworthy of even having one friend by my side. Because I’m skinny, I have a low self esteem and I am jealous of the women on the magazine covers and the curver girls that walk past me.**
I’m a female. *Because I’m a female, I’m here, on this earth, to make children, I’m here to cook for my family. I’m here not for myself – God forbid me, a lowly female, being here to take care of myself – I’m here to serve my husband. To take care of my husband and submit to him because I’m weak. Because I’m female. And because I’m female, I don’t have, or even deserve, a voice. I won’t be a good enough lawyer, because of my gender, I won’t be a good enough politician, because of my gender, I won’t be a good enough psychologist, because of my gender, I won’t ever be able to earn as much as he does, because he’s a man.Because I am female I have to cover up every inch of my body ,which apparently makes me a nun but that’s ok, as long as it keeps me safe when I walk alone at night . *Because I’m female, I’m inferior, delicate, weak, with no confidence.
Except I’m black. **And with being black I’m automatically aggressive. Because of my height, because of my weight, because of the colour of my skin. Because I’m a black female, I’m immediately ill tempered, a fighter, irrational, intimidating, loud, unruly, “ghetto”. Because I’m black – I’m instantaneously poor, poverty ridden, unworthy of any degree of respect, all because I’m black. Because I’m black, I don’t know my father, my brother’s a drug dealer to help my whole family pay the rent. Because I’m black, I don’t belong in this country, because I’m black and my ancestors were black – I’m an illegal immigrant. Because I’m black I love fried chicken. Because I’m black I’m uneducated, dumb. **And because I am black, I’m jealous of all of the girls who aren’t.
But as an ugly, skinny, black female, I can tell you that I am not jealous. Not of the girls who get more comments on their instagram pictures. Not of the girls who get more likes. Not of the perfect, curvy girls who walk past me in the hallways. Not of the men that I see every single day because of their freedom, and not of people of other races.
Why? Because I know they are all just labels. How appealing I am does not define me. What size I have to search for while I’m shopping, does not define me. What gender I identify as, does not define me. My colour, does not define me.
As an ugly, skinny, black female, I can tell you that I am confident. I can tell you that I do, in fact love food. That I do have a voice, that will be heard, and that by the time I am working I will earn the same amount as the man who works alongside me. That I am not one to use violence to solve my actions, and I can assure you that my father is managing my house hold comfortably, and that I do not have a brother that is forced to participate in criminal activities to help my father get by. I can also tell you that just this morning, I spoke to my father, who I have a very close relationship with. And also that my mother and father both migrated here on legal grounds as they are, legally, British citizens, as are their sisters, and brother. As are my grandmothers, grandfathers, as are their mothers, and fathers. I do, however love fried chicken, but not as much as the white man who founded Kentucky Fried Chicken / but I can’t say the same for my black vegan friend. While I love fried chicken, I do not eat it at every meal, or even everyday, and I – * brace yourselves * – do eat other things.
I am ugly. But unlike the stereotype, I’m not jealous. * I am skinny. But unlike the stereotype, I’m not completely insecure. * I am female. But unlike the stereotype, I am strong and independent. * I am black. But unlike the stereotype, I am not aggressive, or uneducated, or a criminal. * Finally, I am me. I am Rachel Adeyemo, a year 13 student with a passion for music and making people smile. And that is all that matters. * Not my gender, sexuality, colour, age, weight, religion, choice of clothing, or any other labels.
As humans, maybe we should strive to accept and love, instead of just tolerate – after all we’re sharing this space with one another, why not make it pleasant for everyone?
Here’s a challenge for you all: look beyond the labels, and you might find something beautiful underneath.
Thank you.
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