Staff Rant #7 – Mrs du Toit

  1. The words “natural nail varnish” in the Pupil Handbook – It feels as if I need a Law degree to ascertain whether nail varnish is natural. In my naivety I thought it is that shiny transparent type (but what do I know about make-up and nail varnish. I have only used it three or four times in my life). Please send me a colour card.
  2. TV remotes – just when I master all the buttons and steps I need to go through just to record one episode of Grand Designs, Mr du Toit orders a different remote or TV package and then it takes me months to learn the new system. The sad thing is I never have time to watch everything I record (the life of a Housemistress).
  3. Using ‘could of’ instead of ‘could have’ – English is not my first language and even I know this is just not the correct use of the Queen’s language.
  4. Shoes – After moving to the UK many years ago, I can now clearly see why shoes are an important item to wear in the winter, but why on earth do we need them in summer when it is hot and sweaty.
  5. Not being allowed to walk on the grass in England – If you grew up in Africa, one of the first things you notice about this country is the beautiful, soft green grass everywhere right through the year. You look forward to walking barefoot on the green pastures so much and then discover all the signs preventing you from doing it.
  6. Pupils who moan about the food at RHS – Get a life! You have no idea how fortunate you are. Learn to be more grateful for all the amazing privileges you have.
  7. Social media – sorry, I still don’t get it. I want to run a mile if people want to follow me or know what I’m doing by pressing a button. Rather follow me to go and sit under the stars around a fire in the bush or on the beach and look me in the eye while we’re laughing and chatting together.
  8. Burnt food – When I start cooking and “just quickly” pop into the boarding house to deal with something, only to walk back into a my house with that horrible smell of burnt rice or porridge oats. I wonder how much money I’ve wasted on burnt food since becoming a Housemistress. Maybe I should have just left suppers to Mr du Toit with his trusted braai (barbeque)
  9. The masses of perfectly formed shiny fruit that only look aesthetically pleasing, but when I cut it open or taste it, it is so far removed from what it should taste like. Let’s all campaign for more natural fruits and vegetables with blemishes and deformities. People don’t even know anymore what a real peach should taste like.
  10. What has gone wrong that I had to grow up and now teach in a society that created a system that assesses or judges children solely by academic examinations while sitting statically at a desk in a hall (at a time of the year when the sun is shining outside). Has our society gone mad? “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” You are all so much more than an examination grade. Please promise me you will start believing this.
  11. “In a world where you can be anything: Be kind”. Why is the human race getting this so wrong?

PC Du Toit

CWD - Y11

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