House Drama Anticipation – Imi Peterson

As the new term slowly begins, many have found themselves naively opening the calendar to discover a change; the House Drama Festival is no longer in March. Three weeks today each house will showcase some of their finest talent in what promises to be the most questionable House Drama ever. The propaganda campaigns are going strong, with rumours circling in the lead up as neighbours become enemies and no one can be trusted.

After the last performance of ‘The Jungle Book’, Howe have apparently taken it one step further, in a rendition of ‘Beverly Hills Chihuahua’. This time the plan is to make the costumes even more convincing. The local Dogs Trust is currently searching for twenty missing animals; any information would be much appreciated.

What would a Collingwood performance be without semi nudity and a classic plot. This year it has been said we can also expect a surprise guest, perhaps Francois will reappear to reprise his roles and remind everyone that you too can be like him with the help of dodgy protein powder from your strange neighbour.

Drake, the newcomers, spurred by a desire to be seen by the school as a Raleigh equivalent they may be bringing out all the stops. Pyrotechnics, live music, wild animals and Zach Efron are all expected in their show stopper.

Always with the largest cast, Anson are rumoured to be bringing us a realistic production of ‘Braveheart’. The Scottish accents are being polished and war paint practiced after some discrepancies amongst the girls as to whether the blue went with the tartan bought in bulk by the fierce Du Toit.

Use what you’ve got appears to be Hood’s mantra this year, as they bring us a rendition of ‘Wall-e’, featuring all of Mr Mann’s antiques in the futuristic set. I have recently received a message to say that all of the props are available to buy at a bargain price including the bath which has been spotted at every summer fete since it began.

Not much has been heard from Hawke for several months, we hope they are all ok and are being allowed water breaks to maintain their strength, although someone has reported a ‘Mama Mia’ song being played from one of the rooms, if this was a clue we know no more and can only assume the culprit has been placed in solitary confinement and is on a diet of tinned potatoes.

Cornwallis, no longer a newcomer there have been rumours circulating of a twenty minute version of ‘The Princess and the Pea’, we can only feel sorry for whoever plays the mattresses.

Supposedly Raleigh is attempting to recruit the ‘most handsome man in school’ to play their lead, and the rumour mill has been going wild as to who this looker is and who he will play. Could we have the next George Clooney in our midst just waiting to be discovered?

And that leaves us with St Vincent. At this point I think we’d all be disappointed not to see the traditional drag queen-esque characters we have all come to expect, but with rumours growing of a ‘Downton Abbey’ inspired production, it’s safe to say there are a fair few who would make a cracking Lady Grantham.

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