Guess the Teacher by Their Pet: The secret Lives of Staff Dogs – Holly L
Every school has its mysteries: Where do all the whiteboard pens go? What happens if you actually run in the corridors? But the greatest puzzle of them all – which of our esteemed teachers goes home to which wagging tail?
Armed with insider information and a questionable level of journalistic integrity, I have compiled this exclusive exposé. Below are three beloved dogs belonging to our staff members. But can you match each dog to their human counterpart?
Candidate A: Reg, the Fox Red Philosopher
Breed: Fox Red Labrador
Age: 3
Occupation: Sofa Enthusiast and Professional Barker
Reg enjoys spending his days in quiet contemplation alongside his elderly feline companion, Sid. Together, they practice synchronised window watching and nap marathons of Olympic calibre.
Sources report that Reg’s main hobby is barking – specifically at Drake pupils near his garden, suggestion an early interest in crowd control or possibly teaching. Affectionate yet authoritative, but who is Reg’s owner?
Candidate B: Theo, the Overachiever
Breed: German Shepard
Age: 3 (and a half)
Occupation: Dog Agility Champion and Trick Encyclopaedia
Theo is that dog who would have colour coded revision notes and volunteered for extra homework. He can spin, find hidden objects and even play dead (a useful skill during parents’ evening!).
Rumour has it he’s trained to agility competition level – which means his owner probably colour codes their PowerPoints and marks with military precision. Could you think of who that could be?
Candidate C: Enzo, the Blue Eyed Whirlwind
Breed: Whippet
Age: Young, fast and full of opinions
Occupation: Neighbourhood Watch Coordinator and Professional Sofa Model
Don’t be fooled by his elegant posture – Enzo may look like a piece of minimalist living room décor, but beneath that sleek coat lies a tornado on four legs. Once a tiny terror who redecorated the house using books, plants and an artistic scattering of shredded tissues, Enzo has since evolved into more refined (but still mischievous) gentleman.
He’s a world class sofa sprinter, a professional food critic (his meals must be finely chopped), and a notorious window gossip – monitoring passers by with the intensity of a neighbourhood watch committee. Still, for all his mischievous energy, Enzo is endlessly affectionate and endearingly dramatic – the sort of dog who could steal both your heart and your lunch in one smooth motion. So, who does this whirlwind of a whippet belong to?
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