Who should lead us through Brexit? – Editor
Another week gone, another series of dramatic convulsions in the Brexit process. Last time out, we tried to explain what the situation was. Then everything changed. So the article aged pretty badly.
This week, accepting that Theresa May is, for all her haplessness, utterly indestructible, we can only fantasise about a Brexit process managed by various candidates for Prime Minister from among the RHS Staff…
1. Mr Reid
Let’s face it, if anyone can crack the numbers, it’s the ‘Highland Hypotenuser’ himself. With his obscure accent, he’s likely to smuggle a few concessions into the deal and the EU won’t even realise.
2. Mr Croft
If you’ve been on Twitter lately, you’ll know what form negotiations would take under the soon to depart Mr Croft’s premiership: the ‘Up Sally/Down Sally’ Push Up Challenge. Let’s see what Barnier’s really made of.
3. Mr Mann
Not only would ‘The People’s President’ secure a no-frills trade agreement and explain to the EU why they’ve entirely misunderstood the NI border issue, he would probably build a free RHS Cultural Tour of Strasbourg into the divorce payment (which would end up going the other way – he’s a powerful negotiator). Mr Mann tells it how it… should be.
4. Mrs Izod-Miller
With her eco-Brexit minister Ali Ng in tow, the opportunities of Brexit are limitless under Izod-Miller. Who needs frictionless trade with your biggest global market when you can simply replace all current imports with eco-versions made out of leftover single-use plastic? Any takers for the new ‘BMW Evian’: it runs as silently as an Alpine stream.
5. Mr Gould
Known across site for his no-nonsense approach to a range of topics, from Arthur Miller’s allegorical theatre, to short-corner routines, Gould would surely stick it to the technocrats. Worth appointing him PM just to hear the priceless phrase, ‘Good from you, Mr Juncker.’
Who would you have in charge of Brexit and why? COMMENT.
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